Users of dating site have confirmed that they often choose partners who would be most similar to themselves, and not vice versa. If this is such a profound trend in dating, then how do so many people get it wrong or seem to be stuck in a dating rut? Considering finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is incredibly important, as singles, we can be incredibly blasé about dating. By thinking about your approach to dating, you’ll be able to make the most of dating and find someone who is truly compatible. Fortunately, you don’t have to guess at how you can begin effectively dating as we have noted four key factors that will determine the success of your first date and future meetings with someone you connect with. 

1. Choosing a partner

Being conscientious about who you choose to go on a date with will determine your success. However, what most people don’t think about is what is attracting them to the person in the first place. 

Naturally, before you go on a date, you’re going to know little about the person you’re talking with other than the few conversations you have, unless it is a friend or someone from work. So, it is wise to think about what you like about the person. Is it just that they are attractive and “fun” to be around? Just because you have similar interests, it doesn’t mean you will have a successful first date or relationship. 

What makes the difference, when choosing a partner, is that you share a similar vision and goals for the future. Do you see family life the same way? Do you even want a family? For both of you, does you career come first? Is family important to you both? These are the factors that determine a fruitful relationship, not whether you both like the same genre of music. 

So, before you even ask someone on a date, think about what you’re really connecting on. Is it surface level or is there something deeper? Do you see life the same way, or just enjoy the same things? Determining this will greatly increase your dating success rate. It may seem as though you’re limiting your dating pool massively but, after all, you’re looking for the one, not the one for right now. 

2. The psychological aspect of partner selection 

There are plenty of psychological factors that determine your partner selection that you won’t even be aware of. Beyond physical attraction, there are tons of variables that may determine why you choose the partner you do. 

To divulge all of them in this short space will not do the psychology justice. But there are things that may determine why you choose who you do, and it is important to be aware of those. You may choose a partner because of: 

  • Status 
  • Perceived stability (emotional and financial)
  • Faith
  • Education level
  • Proximity 
  • Exposure to the person 

There are many more factors and reasons as to why we choose the partners we do, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t an element of choice. On a subconscious level, you may be attracted to someone who seems stable, but it is likely that the desire for stability is something that filters into your active vision and goals for the future. 

3. How to make a good first impression

Once you have secured a date with someone you’re interested in, then it is only natural that you want the date to go well and for them to form a good perception of you. It is natural to be nervous on a first date but don’t let that overwhelm you. Instead, go into the date with a clear head and an open heart as this will help you be more flexible and relaxed when chatting with your date. 

Small gestures, such as standing to greet someone, can make a great first impression as it shows you care about the individual you’re meeting with. These things all add up and show your date that you are a considerate person. 

Furthermore, you want to engage with your date as much as possible. Absolutely do not, under any circumstances, sit there on your phone or distract yourself with the environment. Look into their eyes, really listen to what they’re saying and engage with their conversation. Listen without waiting to respond. If you think you may want to be with this person long-term, then making the effort isn’t going to be a big deal. 

Making a good first impression is all about connecting genuinely with someone and showing that you care. Which leads us to the last and incredibly important factor for first date success…

4. Sincerity is the way to their heart 

You’ll be surprised by how much people can pick-up about your real attitude towards them or a situation. You may think that nobody can notice but your date will be able to tell if you’re being genuine with them or not. Being sincere with someone will build trust and care between the two of you and open-up greater relationship possibilities. 

Sincerity isn’t necessarily something you just have or don’t have. You can learn to be sincere, but it requires a perspective change. Are you just thinking about what you want in a relationship or do you consider what you can offer? Do you think about what you can do for someone or what they can do for you? When you start a conversation is it about hearing someone else’s opinion or about shouting yours louder? It may be difficult but think about how you treat people and whether you’re genuine in your interactions as this will impact how you date someone. 

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So, now that you know what is determining your dating success, go out and start implementing these tips and tricks. We know that they will help you connect with someone and produce great dating experiences, as they are tried and tested methods for finding love and a healthy relationship with someone.